The following is an excerpt from an interview with Indira Meshram (Indira Sakhi Devi Dasi) the author of a newly published book “How I Achieved Real Success – A Happiness Guide for Modern Women” ( Hyperlink https://books.bvks.com/book/view/how-i-achieved-real-success.html). Parth Sadhukhan, a Men’s Rights Activist (MRA) after reviewing ( https://themalefactor.com/2020/06/28/how-vedic-feminism-makes-a-difference/) the book, conducted this interview.
The Male Factor – You agreed in this book, that “today women are in a position to take their own life choices”. (Pg xxv) – Don’t you think that is a gift of feminism and not the traditional society?
Indira – Yes, I agree that the current choices offered to women are gifts of feminism. That doesn’t mean that I’m condoning it – I simply state that as a fact and suggest how women can use it to their advantage. At the same time, as I point out in the book, feminism started out with the intention of creating more choices for women, but it quickly devolved to doing the same thing that they accused traditional culture of doing – limiting choice. They protested that all women were expected to be housewives but now they are pushing all women to be career-women. Either way, it is forcing a cookie-cutter approach to the lives of women.
An important point to note regarding women and choices is that it is not true that women in the past did not have choices and that every woman led a completely stereotypical life. Of course, they all were expected to take care of the affairs of the home, but besides that, there was an entire range of activities that they could choose to do according to their temperament, much like the modern career-women. Some would-be artists, poets or writers, others would be teachers instructing children and other women, some would-be actors, singers or dancers and would have performed for a women-only audience. Apart from that, they would often have the same skills as their husband so that they could also assist them if required. It is described that women of the royal household were expert in diplomacy and would often advise their husbands. They learnt archery and could even ride horses. Similarly, the farmer’s wife or the potter’s wife would know the basics of their husband’s craft and could give a helping hand when required.
TMF – A traditional life will encourage women to go back to inside the four walls of her house. How can society then benefit from the awesome skills they can develop and many of us men, can’t?
Indira – Certainly, there are many things that women are expert at and economically the society seems to be benefiting from it. But there’s a hidden cost to achieving that. A woman may be very successful at her job and may steadily rise up the corporate ladder. This gives benefit to the company she is working for and by extension benefits the society in one sense. But if while doing that she is unable to support her husband in his career, he may not be able to work as effectively at his job, so that’s a loss. She may not be able to support her children, and they may not be as effective in their studies or future jobs, so that’s another loss. But perhaps the greatest loss is that husband, wife and children are all more stressed than they need to be. They are less happy and peaceful and this loss cannot be measured in terms of simple economics. Doubtless, women are bringing their awesome skills to the boardroom, but they are getting torn between home and work and are ultimately not happy. And if women are not happy, society cannot be peaceful.
Every individual has several talents. The best way to organize a society would be to utilize the skills of the person in an area where he or she is indispensable. I would like to point out that while women may be capable of making amazing contributions to the industry, they are irreplaceable as mothers and for that, they need to be home with the children. Also, in the past, there have been many successful, prosperous civilization which did not depend on women being part of the workforce.
The point of a discussion revolving around women returning to the home and hearth is to establish it as a valid and desirable option, even for educated young women – for their own sake and for the sake of their families. Hypothetically speaking if all women were to quit the workforce it would create a huge gap, but if they do it willingly, without resentment, and are satisfied to be home, they will be such a source of inspiration and background support that the men will be able to work to fill the gaps.
TMF – If you keep women under a protective umbrella, they don’t learn to protect themselves. Imagine, if Mata Sita knew self-protection techniques, she could probably save herself from Ravana without the need of a great war. And if Bhagawan Sri Ramachandra was weak and couldn’t rescue her, she could have died in the custody of Ravana. So, what is wrong in empowering women and teaching them self-defence techniques?
Indira – An ideal society is one in which women, children and old people do not need to protect themselves. Able-bodied men are ready to give them protection. Unfortunately, this is not the case today. However, it is up to every one of us to make a change. As women, we can inspire the men in our family to give that protection, and we can agree to graciously accept such protection. We can look after the young girls in our families so that they don’t need to be in a situation where they have to defend themselves against men who are trying to take advantage of them. I’m not against teaching women self-defense, but we need to understand that it is a lamentable state of society when women are forced to protect themselves. Teaching the girls taekwondo or giving them pepper spray may be necessary, but let’s be clear that it is just a practical, short-term solution. This is not empowerment. This is, in fact, encouraging women to accept the world the way it is. The real solution is to examine where we as a society have gone wrong and then try and correct it.
For the record, Mother Sita was more than capable of destroying Ravana on her own, on the strength of her chastity. But she desisted from doing so because it was Lord Rama’s dharma to rescue her when another man has kidnapped her, otherwise people would consider Rama to be weak and incapable of defending his wife’s honour. It was appropriate that Ravana was severely punished for his cruelty. It is a misconception that women in the past were weak and helpless. In most cases, they chose not to use their strength unless absolutely necessary. Strength is not just physical strength. The real strength is the strength of character and we have innumerable examples of women in the past who showed tremendous courage and resilience.
To get the book click here : https://books.bvks.com/book/view/how-i-achieved-real-success.html
To read the entire interview click here: https://themalefactor.com/2020/07/19/giving-women-pepper-spray-is-not-empowerment-author-indira-meshram/