SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIPS WORK BOTH WAYS

I just listened to one podcast of this devotee Nama Rasa Prabhu, he invited some ladies to discuss women in ISKCON, the poster said “Not this body”. It was an interesting discussion for me, for I am also a mataji. It was very thought-provoking.

Why do we ever get hurt or offended by reading in Prabhupada’s books that “women are less intelligent”, “women are nine times more lusty”, “women’s hearts are sharp as razor” etc. Somehow I never got upset while reading this… because such things are discussed 3 Canto onwards, and in the previous two cantos it was already established that we are not this body, we are spirit souls, and Kunti Devi is most intelligent because she is a devotee of Krishna. So I was surprised that some people get hurt by these statements.

An argument was given that men go to prostitutes and women don’t, so how can they be nine times more lusty… and I thought that, well, there are women who are prostitutes and are facilitating this. Instead of thinking “Well, I’m not lusty, my mom is not lusty, the senior mataji in our temple is not lusty…” hold on! You’re all devotees! You are all incredible fortune amazing devotees!

Look at what nonsense is going on with “women” in the world right now, if you read the news, read the general things people post on social media, read the history of the world, how many ladies cheat on their husbands, boyfriends, and have numerous partners. How ladies do their lips, facial tuning, all sorts of things just to enjoy themselves, their own lustful glance in the mirror and the lustful glances of both men and women. Those poor ladies are very much attached to all this. Now we can say the men are no better. But! The only difference is that, as Prabhupada states, men become impotent after some time and take to illicit artificial medicine to “keep them going”. And we all know that thus they are facilitating their premature death. As for the ladies, that’s not the case, nature made certain arrangements to fulfil their needs.

Men are supposed to be either celibate or grihasthas, and for the ladies, Srila Prabhupada said “all ladies need to get married”, and shastras don’t ever speak of ladies being outside of the family, unless rare exceptions. Yes, devotee ladies are freed or less bothered from these lower tastes, not only lust, they are not greedy, angry, proud, illusioned or mad… none of the six enemies are bothering them as much, but still, as aspiring sadhakas, we may be still disturbed and still working on our anarthas. But the point is that why would we get triggered and deny what Srila Prabhupada states in his books?

Srila Prabhupada numerously told us that without Krishna consciousness we are lunatics, mad, haunted, he said that men are like dancing dogs in the hands of a woman… Why don’t man gang up on this statement and say “I know so many people who are not devotees and they don’t care what the ladies say, they are self-sufficient, they are more intelligent than that! This statement is offensive!”

So we do hear that without Krishna consciousness we are all sorts of things, why do we get triggered by the statements about ladies?

By getting upset about it – we are confirming the statement!

As for devotees who were belittled or personally offended by other devotees mistreating them based on these statements. I’m sorry, but there are many devotees who get mistreated, both ladies and men. We do need to work on it.

“Oh, look at that brahmacari, lowered his head, and ran away because we came into the room! He has to control his senses!”

Well, yes, maybe you are very attractive and he doesn’t want to take a closer look at you to remember you nicely and later see and involuntarily enjoy you in his dream at night, he wants to think of Krishna! If you say that “well, if it’s so hard for him then why doesn’t he get married!”, maybe it’s not very hard for him. It’s only a little hard when ladies like you are around. And if he is careful and maintains distance, it’s not hard at all, he can be happy in his brahmacari ashram with his friends serving his spiritual master in total ecstasy!

Indian devotees get laughed at many times I’ve seen. Srila Prabhupada addressed Indian devotees with an appeal to “save their culture”, but we are laughing at them and saying they are trying to “hinduize” ISKCON. But how can we close our eyes upon this instruction of Prabhupada?

Some devotees are very upset about ladies not allowed on the altar of the temples in Vrindavan and Mayapur. Did they read Prabhupada’s letter about only grihasthas serving at temple deity rooms because so many incidents were happening between young single ladies and brahmacharis? He said if husband and wife – then they can serve in the deities room. You can look it up, you can find the reference.

Or some say that if you don’t cover your head as if Krishna will say “Oh, you can’t go back to Godhead, you don’t cover your head”. Let’s have another perspective. Look at all the videos and pictures of Srila Prabhupada and his disciples. All ladies have their head covered. If it was bogus then after so many years in the movement would Prabhupada not point it out? Is this very nice that when Prabhupada was around we covered our heads, and when he is not around we are like “Well, me going back to Godhead is not dependent on that!”. The fact is that He is around. He is offered arati every morning in the temple. We sing to him every day sri-guru-charane-rati ese uttama gati, which means that only if we develop strong attachment to his lotus feet will we attain the highest goal of life. Now if when he was here in vapu – all the ladies covered their heads and wore saris, and now he is with us in murti form and vani-form and we have another idea…do you see what I’m trying to say?

I’m not trying to be conservative or liberal. I’m just trying to find that balance between hand-picking Srila Prabhupada’s instructions that support both perspectives. We can’t keep pointing fingers and laughing at each other.

Let us have compassion and love for fellow devotees. And it has to work both ways! Just as ladies are deeply respected as wives and mothers, sisters, or daughters, they should be loved and forgiven and supported and empowered… similarly men should be respected as husbands and fathers, brothers, and sons, they should be loved, forgiven, supported and empowered. Spiritual relationships work both ways.

Thank you.
Your insignificant servant,
Arati devi dasi