Family attachment is the greatest impediment

Lecture on SB 7.6.8 — New Vrindaban, June 24, 1976

So family attachment is the greatest impediment in the matter of advancing in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, but if the whole family is Kṛṣṇa conscious, that is very nice. Just like Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura. He was a family man, but all of the, Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, his wife, his children—and the best children is our Guru Mahārāja, best child… So he has sung by his experience, ye dina gṛhe bhajana dekhi gṛhete goloka bhaya. If family-wise, everyone is engaged in Kṛṣṇa’s service, that is very nice. That is not ordinary family. That attachment is not ordinary attachment. But generally people are attached materially. That is condemned here. Śeṣaṁ gṛheṣu saktasya pramattasya apayāti hi. They are called pramatta. Everyone is thinking that “My family, my wife, my children, my nation, my community, that is everything. What is Kṛṣṇa?” This is the greatest illusion imposed by māyā. But nobody will able to give you protection.

Bhagavad Gita As It Is, 1.30

Due to his impatience, Arjuna was unable to stay on the battlefield, and he was forgetting himself on account of the weakness of his mind. Excessive attachment for material things puts a man in a bewildering condition of existence. Bhayam dvitiyabhinivesatah: such fearfulness and loss of mental equilibrium take place in persons who are too affected by material conditions. Arjuna envisioned only unhappiness in the battlefield—he would not be happy even by gaining victory over the foe. The word nimitta is significant. When a man sees only frustration in his expectations, he thinks, “Why am I here?” Everyone is interested in himself and his own welfare. No one is interested in the Supreme Self. Arjuna is supposed to show disregard for self-interest by submission to the will of Krsna, who is everyone’s real self-interest. The conditioned soul forgets this, and therefore suffers material pains. Arjuna thought that his victory in the battle would only be a cause of lamentation for him.

Letter to Saucarya devi dasi written from Vrndavana – October 23, 1972

That is the vedic system: The wife becomes a devotee of her husband, the husband becomes a devotee of Krishna; the wife serves her husband faithfully, the husband protects his wife by giving her spiritual guidance. So you should simply do whatever your husband instructs you to do, however he may require your assistance. Of course, the nature of woman is to be attached to her husband and family, so our system is to minimize this attachment by making the ultimate goal of our activity the pleasure of Krishna. Just try to please Krishna always, and no material circumstances will be able to cause you any discomfort.